On Changing Schools Mid-Year

These past few months I've had to make a major life/career decision and it was difficult. I recently changed schools at the end of 2015 so that I could take on new roles and opportunities to develop both myself as a human being and as a professional. I chose my destination because I thought it would be a place where I would discover what I now know as my tribe.

However, due to unforeseen events, that was not the case. Don't get me wrong. I work with lovely people who are hard working and inspiring educators. But we are not on the same page. And that's ok. We, as teachers, are all finding our own way. I'm just at a different point in my journey than most around me. So I needed a change. When an opportunity presented itself to me, I felt as if I had to take it. As much as we teachers must care about our learners, we do need to remember to put ourselves first. A healthy and happy teacher is a good teacher. And this was a move that was going to keep me that way.

The unfortunate part of this whole thing is that the people most important to me, my learners, are missing out for the last term of this school year. I have been increasingly feeling both guilty and sad as my last day approaches. As a group, we have come a long way. They have clearly grown as can be shown in many of the different things I've shared about them. I've learned lots by working with them. I just worry that, in my absence, all the good and amazing things they have developed will be squashed once again. I hope that I've taught them to look at learning in a new way and to always improve.

This week has been especially jarring as it has involved the slow transfer of my things from classroom to home. Yesterday was perhaps the worst. My lego. All 15000+ (estimated) pieces disappeared from the class, making it less colourful and less fun. The children were good about it, helping me unbuild everything and sort it. I spent money on that lego, but money so that my learners could have some opportunities and experiences that I never had. I hope that they remember the 3 terms we had and that they continue to push to ask questions and figure things out on their own. Even right now as I write this (and they're writing their own things) they continue to impress me with their curiosity and wonderment. It's a good sign that I've done something right.

Tomorrow is my last day. I'm not sure even what I'm going to do. Leaving like this is not something I've ever done. Word has clearly gotten out as many children outside of my classroom have been asking me and expressing their sadness. As have parents. Sometimes life is hard and it forces you into choices that are difficult, even though they may seem obvious. I know I have made the right decision, but I hope that the negative consequences of it are not felt by the people I've been charged with guiding this year.

So to all my Smart Sharks, I need to say thank you. You have been the majority of my life since February. You've frustrated me at times but you've also amazed me every single day. It has not been easy, but I wish I could get you to see how far you've come and realize how far you can go. I will miss you.

Update: The above was written before I left and said my goodbyes. Before I published, I wanted to go through the process and then share how I felt afterwards.

My last day was full of emotional highs and lows. It was both an exciting time and a sad time. We spent most of the day doing regular things with each other. It was only until the last 30 minutes of the day when things got real.

I wanted to leave my students with some life advice before I left. The problem was that I immediately started to tear up when telling them this. Which led to a lot of them tearing up at the same time.  I thought perhaps I should share the advice I gave to them in our last hour together:

• There's not one right way to do anything. Don't let anyone tell you there is.
• Always question authority - they might be right, but you should still ask why.
• There's always someone better off and worse of than you are, so don't compare yourselves to others.
• Make the world a better place than what it was before you came into it.
• Smile at strangers - you never know the positive impact it can have.
• Always assume the best in people - not the worst.
• Do what you love and find a way to make money doing it.
• Don't take no for an answer.
• Sacrifice for your friends, but don't be friends with anyone who only asks you to do the sacrificing.

Yes, they are a bit cliched, but I wanted to make sure they heard these things from someone. Also, I should add:

• It's ok to cry - even for boys.

Afterwards we went outside to play on the parks. I wanted to have some fun with them so that they would have some positive memories of me (and I of them). After a few minutes of this, a couple of children were sitting under some of the play equipment, visibly upset. I went over to talk to them. This meeting slowly grew until it was the whole class, most of whom were crying. One of my students said something that, while it made us both sad, was actually a positive reflection on me and my practice. She said: "You gave us choice. No one has ever let us choose before." So there's that. When time was up we went back to the classroom, had our goodbye hugs and the bell went to end the day. 

One of the parents remarked that they have never seen a whole class leave the room in tears. I am torn about that. On one hand, it's good to know that we all had something worth crying over. On the other hand I feel terrible for putting these children through something like this.  At the end of the day (or the month) I do feel that they will get over it. They will move on and they will be happy. At the time, something like this is difficult, and it is not something enjoyable. But in life we have to realize that when we start something good and positive, it will have to end, one way or the other, eventually.

I'm glad we had our time together and I'm glad we said what we wanted to on the last day and we had fun and danced. I had actually been very depressed all day, but a close friend of mine had sent me a text, reminding me to have fun with them (she's definitely a keeper) so we could enjoy our last time together. I certainly did. The tears were tears of joy, not sadness.